I am 18 years old, and I've been living with my boyfriend for 7 months now. We started dating when I was 17, even though he's a few years older. (My parents never disapproved. He's been my brothers best friend for a long time.)
We started dating soon after he ended a 2 and a half year relationship.
Though that caused me to be skeptical of starting a relationship with him, I just couldn't resist. I had a crush on him since I could remember and as I got older those feelings matured. I gave him a chance to earn his trust, and it's something we've been working on (and has been difficult because I am so young, and honestly, pretty immature when it comes to relationships).
Anyway, about two months ago, we discovered that I was pregnant. And by no surprise, we were ecstatic. We really do love each other, and though I'm young, having something extra special together was just exciting. As happy as I was, I couldn't get the fact that he had almost had a baby with his last girlfriend. She miscarried (or so she says).
And then, a few weeks after our discovery, I ,too, had miscarried.
It was traumatic, to say the least.
We both went through a lot of grieving, and I made a conscience decision; I wanted to be abstinent.

Now, I thought it through many times. I didn't want to just stop something that was a part of our relationship without good reason. But I had my good reasons.
For one, I'm so young. I lost my virginity at 16, but our first time together was far more special to me than the one time thing with some asshole. Even though it was special, I felt like we rushed into it. I felt like we rushed into a lot of things.
Another reason also has to do with my age. He's far more experienced than I am, and as immature as I feel, I just am not comfortable knowing his history. I knew his last girlfriend and the one before that. And it is just weird for me.
And the final reason, which is mostly the main one, is the loss of our baby. I don't think I could handle going through that again, not any time soon. And even if we're careful, there is always a chance. And again, I am too young and immature. I don't think my sanity could take anything that traumatic again.

So, when I decided to be abstinent until I was ready, I told my boyfriend. And though he was a bit sad hearing my decision, he was supportive. And because he was supportive, I was willing to talk about it with my mom (our relationship is that close).
I told her what I was doing and she laughed. She told me that it was selfish. Another line she used was "Put him in the doghouse and he'll start playing with a cat."
My first reaction was, "What the fuck?"
Then she explained, "Guys have needs. And if you take it away, he'll find it from someone else."
This whole time I was trying to keep my nerve. But I lost it and ended the phone conversation immediately.
I mean, what she said could be true, if it was a douchebag type of guy who didn't love me. And she was making seem like I was punishing him. I could see where someone could think that because of me being uncomfortable with his past, but I have other reasons. They all added up to my decision of being abstinent.
I just think that she is a bit old fashion, and believes that it is a duty as women to please their man whenever they want. Or something like that.

What do you think? Do you think I'm being selfish? Is it wrong to be try and be abstinent with someone you've already been sleeping with?